When you walk away
i count the steps that you take...
Do you see
How much i need you right now
Thursday, April 28, 2005
RECOLLECTION OF SPFB FRSHMAN ORIENTATION CAMP 2004
Farhan didnt want to be responsible for my safety while the other GLs went off to watch the soccermatch, so i went for a stroll around the campus, listening to the radio. As i walked toward the sports hall from my bunk, i saw Nuurul, Huda and Jolyn sitting at the staircase beside the vending machine. I 'pretended' not to see them and walked on forward (act cool!!! act cool!!! haha... takot if i approached them, then they'd thought i menyebok, xtra, melebih, mengacau....) But then, they called me over and asked why im walking around alone? So i told them that i was bored and couldnt sleep. Then they invited me to join them. I obliged HESITANTLY... but i didnt show it on my face... (Muke tetap stone... hahaha. 1st tyme sak.. Biasenye dengan lelaki.)
On the steps, we 'bual-bual kosong'. They were actually waiting for Rabbiah, Wani and Shaz to finish bathing. After that, some of them suggested going back to their bunks, and they even invited me. I told them that i'd felt awkward in a girls bunk, alone being the only guy (tapi dalam hati, Giler!!! hahaha.... Mampos! Nak ajer aku...
Oh Yeah..! Went to watch the Division 1 Floorball finals between Nhac Tre and Swiss Club Red Flamingoes (SCRF) match ended at 7-5 (I think..) with Nhac Tre winning the finals... Me, Idhzaar and Akil went to watch after our training (Rase kekok sak, masok TSH dengan sticks... Macam kite main je... haha)
When we reached there, the Moosettes were leading OSB Hooters, they eventually won... (Jill QUACK punye dribbling... Fuuyoh!!!! ahaha... ) All three of us, including Ikhmal and Zaki were seated behind the goalposts. When the match ended, the Nhac Tre's went in and practiced their shots... Mampos kiteorang!!!! 80% of their shots went IN, with the other 20% flying too high or too wide (Kite kat blakang tenga elak bola... Dzaf 2 kali kene bola... Padan Muke!!! hehe...) Their shots were all FLEX shot that went to the top corners... Fuuyoh!!! haha...
When the match started, me and Idhzaar went to the sides to get a better view of the match. (Malas ar aku nak elaborate, but the match ended with Nhac Tre being victorious...) The only highlight for me was Christian Olssen's solo goal, which he dribbled from half court ( Mak Kau..!!! Dier punye 1 handed dribbling macam kite punye 2 handed dribbling sak.... haha) Oh ya, SCRF's No. 99 - Power..! Literally, he single handedly managed to hold the ball (susah ah nak describe...)
That match has given me inspiration to strive and persevere to be the very best. Blood, sweat, toil and tears... (Haha, aper sajelah Wan ni... Mengarot!!! hehe..)
Damn... So damn bored, especially for the past few days... Exams exams exams... Emotions. *bleah* Haiz... so fast! so fast coming to 2nd year... Whoa! before you know it, we'll all be gone... just like that. Hmm... Im so damn bored, even my entry looks boring... so i'll just be typing watever comes to my mind... but not ALL! haha.. at least theres some things to look forward to, like Floorball training and SPFB camp... Oh Yeah..!! haha... which reminds me, my RECOLLECTION isnt finished yet... ( juicy part belum letak ah... haha)
Nothing to do this weekend, im thinking of watching the semis between Nhac Tre and SCRF... Maybe can pick up a few pointers while watchin the match. Sallibandy or Mustangs? Hmm... Im waiting for Amir (not Amer lah, Mal... hehe aper je!)
Sumbody please take me away from my misery...! ( Chey! jiwang kepe?? haha... takdelah) If dats the case, then should i keep myself occupied with my work? Wednesdays and Fridays got tutions and trainings (nationals... Chey! haha.. ader sape-sape termuntah? hehe) Weekends got skool trainings. Which leaves me free on Mon, Tue and Thurs... Should i work on those daes? X-tra income, babe.... tution + work = $ (bolehlah blanje SWENSENS... Betul? haha..) Got so many things i wanna buy. I-Pod shuffle, shoes, clothes, Playstation2, Seluarda... *Oops*( So korang tahu aper nak belikan aku for my Bdae...) and shud i cut my hair? hmm... i dunno. i wanna messy, wavy style.. (cam dat yellow ranger lah... ronyok, tak ronyok, samer jugak...)*bleah*
Haiz... what to do with my life? concentrate on what? studies..? Nah... too boring, a bit only lah. Floorball? maybe... fun, but dun wanna spend TOO MUCH time on it. Family? hmm... that seems to be the suitable path, but.... i dunno. Sheesh!! bored... bored... bored...
feeling: Need i say more?
whats happening on the 2ND OF MAY....? Go figure, haha...
Who am i to you? That was the question you asked me on 2nd April, after your concert. Honestly, i was a bit surprised by your question. I tried to answer it as honest and as straightforward as i possibly could. But somehow, i got the feeling the answer i gave you was not satisfying or not what you were looking for..... I may be wrong though.
Who are you to me? I was smiling as i thought of the answer... Lotsa things went thru my mind. Most of em were, 'What Ifs'. You know, lyk what if 'It' happened and those kinda stuff, haha... The curiosity itself makes it more interesting, and this interest is making me wanna find out more, haha... But what i didnt tell... Arrgh! There's no point in telling. It could make matters worse - emotionally. All i can say is that i really liked the fact that we were able to 'click' really well. Chemistry maybe? I dunno.... but i'd like to find out.
You're with another person. Its not fair just to butt in... 'Jeopardy' was the word we used, remmember? btw, it does not have anything to do with Leopards, Duh!!! *bluek* I dun wanna jeopardise your relationship by being involved as the third party. I'd feel like i'd be in the wrong, somewhat... Its what we malays call - 'serba-salah'. I dun wanna get in the way. Its not fair... to 'him' especially.
Even so, what do you xpect? that i'd ask you to break up with him, so that i can be with you..? Thats just plain wrong. U know it, i know it. But it would be nice to find out, what if.......... dont you? haha... but i can't. You understand my situation rite? If you weren't.......... than maybe......... but thats a different story. You're busy with your singing career, and im trapped by my studies... You're with him now. You're lucky, im jealous. Im not jealous of him, im jealous seeing both of you so close together - the bond you have for each other, its special. MUST be...!!! and i couldnt live with myself knowing the fact that i was the one who broke that bond, honest...
You're happy..... with him rite? Well you shuld be rite, after being together for how long? I mean thats the most important thing. Ultimately, its whether you're happy or not and thats what matters to me most - Your Happiness. Is that why you wrote "My Happy Ending"? Im sorry i couldnt go to your concert. I didnt have the cash, but i'll make it up to you. We'll go out, dinner, just before you leave for your next tour.
I will be there for you when you need a friend. Anything more?? I dunno... but the curiosity to find out is just TEMPTING isnt it? haha... I thought so.
