When you walk away
i count the steps that you take...
Do you see
How much i need you right now
Monday, September 26, 2005
I had the most 'meaningful' dream last night, SERIOUS!!! It was lyk an eye-opener for me, believe it or not. Here goes - i was somehow dreaming bout the FB raye outing (Raye kan nak dekat... haha) I cant remmember the whole dream but it somehow started at Woodlands MRT. It was in the evening and all of us (SPFB) were on the station platform. I wasnt sure whether we're boarding the train or not. I was talking to Najibah(Katak BERG/BOGEL!!) haha. I was talking to her when suddenly one of the girls was crying. Should i say who it is? hmm... haha k lah, it was Zana(of all people) hehehe... Ya, it was her (aku bukan nak kutuk kau tau... it was in my dream. HONEST! Takkan nak bohong... hahaha) But can u imagine her - CRYING?? wahaha.... Kkays back to my 'dream'. Zana was crying (tersedu-sedu) so i asked her " asal nangis?" then she told me in a sobbing tone that her sister called her to say that her mother just passed away. I almost shed a tear. After a while, i woke up after that.
From then on, this so called 'issue' has been consciously on my mind, but i dunno why. Izzit because of the upcoming bulan Ramadhan?? Hmm... I kept thinking bout it. Imagine if u lose a loved one ( lagi-lagi kalau during bulan Ramadhan or worse, Hari Raya!!) Just think about it and imagine. So far, the only person close to me, that has left, was my 'Atok'(grandfather) and that was already SO painful, now what if it was your own mother?? - the closest person in your life. The one who takes care of you when you were young, the one who puts your needs before hers, the one who would sacrifice anything/everything for you, the one who tries to give the BEST for you. You get what i mean. Now imagine if this person was gone from your life. I dunno about you, but my mother is everything to me and I dont think i'll ever have the strength if she was gone , and i dont know how people like Idhzaar was able to cope emotionally when he lost his (sorry eh Idhzaar) cos i remmember your blog entry bout your late mother. (aku betul-betul salute kau ah...)
Honestly speaking, i feel a bit 'emotional' juz writing bout this, and especially during Ramadhan, some people cry to show their emotional distress while listening to the 'Takbir'. I guess my mum was thinking bout 'her mum' when she listened to the takbir too. She would then reminisce the good times she spent withe 'hers' and eventually, tears would start rolling down her cheek. I have always understood the 'significance' of the Takbir, but never have i experienced it emotionally. I hope it wont have to, but it WILL happen sooner or later... I cannot imagine Ramadhan without her - when shes busy making kueh Raye or preparing for the 'Buka Puasa'. I would then help her in the kitchen cos if i didnt, she would nag and nag and nag, hahaha... Imagine if she was gone - an empty kitchen, an empty seat at the dining table. A seat which used to be occupied. HARI RAYE - Everybody's wearing their baju Kurung, getting ready for the 'mintak maaf ' ritual and you only ask forgiveness from your dad cos the seat beside him is empty. I cant imagine that.... It just wouldnt be the same.
With this eye-opening dream , i want to make sure i do spend enough time with my family - my mother especially, treasuring every single moment i have with her. ALL of us should!! before its too late, and we're stuck cursing ourselves for not spending enough time with them when they were alive. I try to make them happy, and keep myself happy too, hahaha... (takkan nak sedapkan hati diorang, tapi kiter sendiri tak suke...) Nobody said it was easy, but its not impossible....
Two more days.... Just two more freaking days and it'll be all over.... Hydraulics exam (baik ah...) There's something strange bout me this past few weeks, i think...? With all the studying for the tests and the upcoming exam, i've found myself easily studying, understanding concepts and all.... (ni bukan puji diri ah, tapi smangat nak blajar terus datang sak... entahlah) Im not lyk forcing myself to study, but i actually WANT to study. Not just that, i suddenly feel like i REALLY know the topic and confident of the test or exam, whichever... and for the FIRST time in my poly history, i feel confident of at least passing my eng maths - a module which we NEVER pay attention in class (betul tak Mal? hahaha... cam besar gitu) Maybe i do study better under pressure. Lets just see if my results reflect on it, hahaha...
Lets see, the things happening after Wed - class chalet, FB Sentosa outing, Close Friendz outing (hopefully), KL Trip... (huh???) hahaha... (korang tak faham ah... satu orang je faham aper..) Too bad there's no FB training, Damn!! Thats the problem when u finish your exams early - You can't really enjoy cos your other friends are still having exams (ader yang sampai next week... ader yang langsung takde exams - stakat ambik gambar je... hehehe) After that then 'puasa' (cepat eh?) which reminds me - FB Raya outing (cam malas ah nak plan... orang lain take over. sape-sape nak? Nak kene sewa bus in advance lagi... tolong aku jugak lah...) Anybody got any info on the rates bus companies charge per day..??
There are links outside my blog to random sites and they will open in a new window.
If you want to know which ones are the hotspots,
click on the following objects in the background image-
(a) The part above the Music player that reads "The Migrane Inducer". It will take you to yourMP3 website. FREE MUSIC!
(b) The Dominoes after the blog entries. They lead to blogger.com
(c) The "LADIES TOILET" sign. It leads to imageshack.us - a site thats lets u upload pictures for FREE!!
(d) at the very end of the page, The little Jellyfish-like figure in between the wings will lead to my www.mousebreaker.com - Games (must try)
Time for a new vote... (tak paya cakap lah, aku tahu aku takle jadi captain.... ketawekan kau lagi ader - HAHAHAHA....!!!! Citot!!! Azfar, kau ambik sudah...) hahaa, check it out.
Ok, done... AMACAM? waddya think?? hmm.... hahaha. My tests are all over xcept for one assignment - Hydraulics lab test. Its not my fault... Its my classmate - Muzhaffa. One more exam to go - Hydraulics, this wed. Woohoo!!! This means cramming all the way till wed, a small price to pay actually. Rather dread cramming for 3 to 4 days, rather than failing the exam and risk having to repeat it for one more year... (sape nak stay back sak..??? actually kalau stay back pun orait eh, cos nanti boleh jadi Capt*.... betul tak Azfar? hehehe...) Actually cant wait for all the events happening AFTER my exam - FB Outing, Class Chalet, my CLOSE FRIENDz outings and IVP!!!! Oh ya... selection for IVP teams is on the 1st, i think? yea... Cant wait!!! k lah.. gotta go, study... SERIOUS!!!
(asal kalau aku cakap aku nak blaja, orang ketawe or tak caye....??? Muke aku ni tak boleh blaja kepe???) hahaha...
1. Respect each other and yourself - NO BACKSTABBING, especially against people of higher authority*
2. Be punctual - janji melayu
3. Be responsible for yourself and others - If you get injured, you cannot blame anyone but yourself
4. Speak up - make noise
5. Be professional - If not happy, FIGHT!(betul tak Azfar? hehehe...)
6. You are considered late if you are more than 15 min late (including janji melayu...)
7. If your attendance is below 75%, you may be debarred from playing in the IIVP Games
8. Show love, care and concern for fellow SPFB Members
9. Uphold the good name of SPFB
10. Sing the school song with pride (ehh???)
11. Greet a fellow SPFB member whenever you see him/her around school campus
12. Make Wan the next SPFB Captain
...
5 Basic rules in court
1. Proper attire - Tuck in your shirt, and wear your shorts 'high'. Wear them with pride
2. Sense of urgency - Quickly set up the boards so we got more playtime
3. Suspect the coach
4. Do not hesitate to help one another - Dont help too much. You don't want your friend to be better than you
5. Put in effort in trainings and in matches - You want to be better than your friend, dont you?
6. Make Wan the.....
*This is all a joke... Do not take this seriously, except for rule number 12.
...
I'm supposed to do my Environmental Science report now, but bloody hell, i4got to borrow the paper from Ala-malina... (tengok ah... kau bukannye nak ingatkan aku!!! Ala...Mal) Lets see... what to write, hmm... We're Thru to the Semi-Finals. Next game - MI Salivabandy vs Merahantu Knights, hahaha... can you believe the score was 0-0 even after 1st period?? Shows how tough it was... Haiz. Amir was in one of his PMS moods again (biaselah...)Dzaf and Ala-malina heard him, rite?? hahaha... By the end of the 2nd period, TEK were leading 2-1, and by the 3rd period, with only 5 mins to go, we clawed one back making the final score 2-2. For a moment there, it was lyk an 'SP' goal where evryone came out, congratulating the player. It was then, down to penalties. TEK missed all their shots (bengap sak...) One thing was that they didnt make our keeper move. So when the deciding goal was scored, we all rushed out towards our keeper, celebrating, enjoying.... How long will it last?? i juz dont know... Haiz It was the most intense, pressurizing game i've ever played...
Lets see, what else is on my mind... YOU?? erm.... erm... hahaha mayyyybe. Bleah!! Hydraulics lab report, Design Project report, Environmental Science report, term tests, exams.... The list goes on and on and on.... Not to mention my GEMS - Effective Speaking AND Effective Negotiation roleplay (ala... senang lah ni. stakat cakap je... sape tak tahu cakap?? korang lagi tahu aku.... hahaha)
What else can i recall for the past few days.... OH!!! saturdae. Aiya... Dont wanna talk about it lah. Only a few people know what im talking bout that made me PISSED on sat, but its over, no point groaning over it (betul tak?) I juz wanna say that we were lyk IDIOTS waiting, you were enjoying. SHIT YOU!!! k k.. better stop b4 i get pissed bout it all over again....
Also on sat, this kid... This secondary 3 skool KID, by the name of Nurul... kept bugging me "hai tenga buat ape, awak skola maner?" PUH-LEEZ....!!!! (nampak SAH....!!!! hahaha.... sape-sape nak?) No thanx ah. hahaha... (dulu, this lady name Rose from Phillipines... Skarang si dekni pulak...)HOW THE HELL DID THESE WEIRDOS GET ME NO???? WHO GAVE THEM MY NO??? Arrgghhh!!!!! Maybe i shud stop answering unknown calls, lyk what Huda did....
Cheesecake Obsession!!! ever heard of muak?? hehehe... *bluek*
Adioz~
I don't believe that anybody feels the way i do, about YOU now...
Kinda lose my sense of time cos the days dont matter no more. All the feeling that i hide, gonna tear me up inside. Struggling with the fight inside, sorrow will defeat
