Early morning and my mood was already spoiled for the whole day... IDIOT!! I'm defaming you right now, scumbag!!! don't think im afraid of you, even if you're older than me!!! you hear that??!! i woke up 6:45am, helped to send Danial to skool, together with my mother.. so as i boarded the bus, service 111 at 7am, the bus driver FORCED to see my ez link card, as though he thought i was cheating the bloody bugger!!! of all the people who were boarding the bus, he was singling me out. damn idiot!! hes descriminating me!! and its not the 1st time this thing happened. this same thing happened to me before, with the same jerk, so i confronted him in front of the passengers (ingat aku takot kepe??!!)

i asked him, "u dont think im a poly student izit?" but he didnt reply, like some dumbass!! i asked him a few times, but he didnt reply. probably cos he's DEAF!! so then i said, "u give me your name..!!" then he replied - "you take down the bus number lah, think i scared ah?!" in a rude and aggressive tone. at that point oredy, i cannot tahan his attitude. my tolerance level was gone. WHO THE FCUK DOES HE THINK HE IS??! he was challenging me!! that Asshole of a driver... i dont give a FCUK!! don't care if i made a scene in front of everyone.. early morning pissing me off oredy... u asked for it, right??!! i've been keeping this confrontational side of me hidden away from everyone, but u juz had to push me over the edge right??!! u want to see this side of me thats no one's seen before, right?! FCUKER!! people asked you nicely, but u replied like some brainless goon. your parents dont teach you any manners right?? i know why.. cos you;re not even worth the effort, teaching..

so i called up the SBS transit and fcuked the operator thru and thru... think i dont dare to do this kind of things right??!! i'll also be writing to the new paper.. u know on sundays, they have the article bout complaints or comments and other shit! yeah... You watch out, Fagged!!! the next time i see you, im gonna ask, "you wanna see my ez link anot??!!"

Nothing to do at 9:28 PM by Awin

Nothing to do at 9:57 PM by Awin

1/3 of my attachment has passed... 4 more weeks to go. juz checked this weeks duty roster. off on thursday and sunday. (riezal rabak... pegi ice-skating tak ajak.) haha, looks like im gonna miss training next week. hmm... boring lah, having to go thru one whole week without holding the stick (seminggu kalau tak pegang stick, tak SAH!) haha..

speaking of training, last sat. i was told that i have a weak right ankle... (macam tak caye gitu eh? haha..) yeah, my right ankle. it sort of strained, while doing the sprints. Arrgh... actually, it was an old injury, during sec skool, was playing soccer at the basketball court after skool. then i miskicked and hit the concrete ground. *crrraacckk* went my ankle... since then, haiz... must 'jaga' my right ankle lah. 'abang' bo (chey..) taught me some exercises to strengthen my ankle. (eh, skarang dah takle panggil dier 'bo' lagi. cos skarang dier ader rambut lah... hahaha lagi kiter janji nak simpan panjang.)

kkays, thats it for today. oh, yar... im looking forward to 'the cage' hahaha, (cumer kiter-kiter jer yang faham eh.) hahaha...

~Adioz

wait, can you hear that?...

Nothing to do at 9:06 AM by Awin

i've been doing a lot of thinking these past few days... a LOT!! dunno why though. personal reflection? soul searching? whatever u call it lah... a LOT of thinking. reflecting on the past, view from an outsider peeking thru the window of my own life... (chey, cakap... punye 'm e n d a l a m i' wahuahua. minah, you know the meaning of mendalami anot? yes, im talking to u, DZaf!! wahuahuahua)

the other day, i was in a bus goin home, listening to music, then thoughts started to wander... flipping back to the past. then i snickered (kau tau makne 'snickered' tak, dzaf? =P) thinking bout what u said made me laugh inside. you must be the 'stoopidest' guy in Spore, for what you said. nonono, i wont use the word 'dumbest' cos your explanation or so called 'defence' was WAY below 'dumbest'. hahaha, just thinking bout it now, makes me laugh... hahaha, you look smart, but you reallie are stoopid. i can't believe you'd suggest that, in your lame explanation. hahaha... oh well, some things just can't be helped. so so stoopid... wahahaha, im still laughing...

and just now... during friday prayers, my thoughts went wandering again... past, present but not future. riding the highs and digging the lows of the rollercoaster of my life. now i just have to step back and look at the whole ride, as a whole. taken from my past entry, this really stood out - 1/08/2005

" Why must i feel this way..? Why? Why? Its all your fault but i can't blame you cos its not you're fault. Tak faham?? Its ok.. Its what i feel inside of me. Its better for u not to understand. Damn!! Im reallie reallie lost inside. Angst, Happiness, confusion, depression, lost, lost, lost. Why must i feel this wae..? Wacky, crappy, funny, friendly exterior, but inside - A lost child in a shopping mall, ship lost at sea, face without a name, a bird that lost its wings, a door without a key. Why...? Why must i..? Somebody please guide me... I want it to stop but how? how?? Please make it go away... I beg of you. Why must it be me?? Why must it affect me?? Of all the people, why me?? Its all YOU..!! Im not angry at you, dont take it the wrong way. Its not your fault. You are what you are. Why must it be you?? Its lucky you cant read this.

Things happen, for the good and for the bad. Im angry with myself. This wounds they may not heal, confusing what is real and what is not. My walls are closing in. All mixed up. So insecure, so.... I cant even find the words to describe and its all because of U. F*#%..!!! I dont wanna feel this wae. Take me back to the way it was, please.. The truth is, i dunno what to do anymore.. Thats why i'm so f*$%-ed up.. Trying to find someone else to blame, but its me that i should blame Arrghh..!!! Please make it go away. When you see me, I wont even show it. Let it go.. should i?? but.... nvm. Theres so much i wanna say to u, so much i need you to know, but i know i just cant. Life sux!! The only thing to look forward to, and make me forget about you, are my friends. For that , i wanna say thank you, to each and evryone of you. You know who you are. No need to mention any names. Its you people, who are close to me and have made a difference in my life. Happy when i'm with you guys.. The people i laugh with, the people i converse with, the people i consoled to, the people i CRAP with. It is U who take me away from my problems. For that, i thank you.

People elsewhere are moaning the death of their family, and here i am, selfishly grumbling. What to do.. Sorry, but thats how i feel. Nobody can change that.. Sat gonna see the Floorball guys play soccer from 9 - 5. Riezal jadi keeper yang aku nak tengok, and lookin forward to sunday's training.. Cyaz i will overcome it, one way or another... that is my promise "

cant believe i wrote all that... (englisg aku power tak? haha... dzaf, anything kalau kau tak faham, can just check dictionary. kalau tak tahu pakai, can juz kol me. kwakwakwa...) whoa!! hahaha. hmm, looking back, am i proud of it? no, not all at least... do i regret it? no.

' Know what happened, has happened, and cannot happen any other way'. fuuyoh... im getting all 'zen' here. "Confucious says..." hahaha. another word of wisdom - ' its better to have tried and failed, rather than not trying at all and you're left wondering what would have been if you tried ' (aku pernah bilang ni kat kau kan, dzaf. ingat tak? tapi aku tahu kau faham ke tak ah... whahahaha!!!! kau hari ni betul-betul kene teruk dari aku ah!! WHAHAHAHA...)

kkays, this whole entry has been so indepth. hahaha, training tomorrow. woohoo!! haha..

so STOOPID!

Dzaf bingit.. hahaha

'it' says it all...

~adioz

its nice to know that you were there,

thanks for acting like you cared...

its nice to know we had it all,

thanks for watching as i fall...

Nothing to do at 3:29 PM by Awin

arrgh... im so tired, so sleeepyyy. i dunno why im so tired today. i think its juz me... im burning out, i need a break. luckily having off on friday and saturday. 3 more days wan, (sabar jer..) lets juz hope theres training this sat. (last week dah lah takde) i NEED the break man...

work.... im gonna add India, Oman, Thailand, Indonesia, Mauritius, Bangalore, Bermuda and China to my list of tourists. but i tell you, Russian girls damn POWER lah!! serious... juz now got a tour group of russians. Fooooohhhh...... and one thing about foreigners, they're VERY sociable compared to Singaporeans. you could strike up a conversation with them so easily... (lagi sikit aku dah kasi name card aku lah...) haha, yeah.

the coffee bean was also near my place, so i went up there to buy a drink, but instead they gave me free (aper lagi... aku mintak sandwich skali ar... dah buat member kat coffee bean sentosa!! smart huh.) haha, the turkey & melted cheese sandwich and a blackforest ice blended drink. they give us free, we let them watch the show for free... baik ar!! haha... went home, taking the cable car. nice view... VERY nice view!! (tu lah... aku cakap balik naik cable car, korang tak caye kan?? ingat aku bedek...) hahaha... rode on it twice oredy... can u imagine, $12.50 per ride..?? but for staff, free lah... *ehem ehem* hehe. now must try the Skytower and Luge.

arrgh... wanna write summore but my eyes. dunno why im so tired today. (dah tak boleh angkat lah... LITERALLY!) must be exhaustion from working too hard, so i'll juz stop here today. =P hehe..

saturday main kamikaze lagi... good way of practicing accuracy!! haha...

~adioz

Nothing to do at 9:35 PM by Awin

its been already 2 days of work at Sentosa. i work at the 4D Magic centre near the Butterfly Park and Carlsberg Sky Tower. its the latest attraction in Sentosa, the 4d Magic. a 3d simulation movie lah... basically, what i did was just to usher in the tourists, operate the machinery (picit butang jer..) and lead them to the exit. quite slack lah the job....

although im the only one attached there, the two full-time workers made me forget that im working alone... theres these 2 crazy indian fellers - P.J and Kallam (prangai diorang macam taik sey... hahaha giler jugak!! macam aku..) a few occasions, tourist went up to the counter to buy tickets. u know what they did?? P.J went behind the partiton wall, blew up a balloon and burst it. hahaha... (tak terperanjat tourist tu.... hahaha. kiter sumer try to keep a straight face in front of the tourist. hahaha, klakar sak!! aku lagi ambik video) we did that a few times. hahaha...

then i let them watch the NYP video (diorang belum tengok ah...) hahaha. we wanted to watch the 2nd part of the video on the computer but the modem speed of the com was too damn slow, so tak paya lah... hahaha. so far, im reallie enjoying it there lah. met a LOT of foreign nationals there. Russia, Sweden, UK, Kazakhstan, South Africa, Australia, Japan, Hong Kong, Taipeiiiiiiiiiiii..... some of the girls are, FUUYOH!!! (farok gerenti steam punye!!) hahaha. but seriously!! Fullermak, POWER lah... especially the Russian and Swedish girls. then yesterday got this girl from Kazakhstan... (tak boleh angkat!!!) hahaha... enjoying the 'scenery' at Sentosa!

i start everyday from 11am - 8pm (tak paya bangun siang lagi...) hahaha, and i have 2 days off every week. its very slack giler lah... can even get bored at times... (msg aku lah... kadang-kadang boring jugak ah!) haha.. can drink coke in the office, eat potato chips, talk cock... hahaha.

~Adioz

Nothing to do at 4:14 PM by Awin

WE COULD HAVE BEEN IN KL BY NOW!!!!!

Nothing to do at 2:18 PM by Awin

Its over... its FINALLY OVER!!! after 2 weeks of mugging, 2 weeks of stress, 2 weeks of studying, 2 weeks of sleepless nights (macam betul jer), 2 weeks of no floorball, 2 weeks of concenteration, 2 weeks of studying, its finally over!!! this damn thing is finally over... WOOHOO!! this day couldnt come any sooner.... (dah boleh BAKAR sumer notes aku...) Wahahaha!!!

im sick of looking at another piece of paper... hahaha. Oh yar, to all those still having exams on Friday... TOO BAD!!! wahahaa.. dahbis. no more....! time to put down the script, and pick up the STICK!! kwakwakwa... =P cant wait for training to resume this Saturday! (maklumlah... dah lamer tak pegang stick!! naik rindu... hahaha) i guess thats the only good thing happening, before...... before.... before.... before.... before.... before..... before.... i start my attachment on MONDAY!!! Ugh... they dont give us time to relax.. (aku tahu korang tenga ketawekan aku... bukannye aku tak tahu si Bob ni!! hahaha, mentang-mentang aku belum ambik attachment aku...) but nevermind...

apparently, this attachment at Sentosa might not be Adzmin job after all... i approached this lecturer to ask bout any details regarding this particular company... she told me that my job was to operate some sort of 3d machinery at Cinemania... something lykdat lah.. she kept emphasizing on how easy the job was.. too easy that a person with an IQ of 14.2 can do it... =P easy job, easy money, they treat u well, working hours quite flexible, i heard... sounds good, yes? (siape tanak? keje senang) NOPE!!! according to her, the previous student had to work on WEEKENDS!!! saturday and sunday BOTH!! Arrgghhh!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......................................................................................................................!!!!!!!

(Maner boleh cam gini??!!! rabak ah..) what bout trainings?? what bout lepak AFTER trainings?? *CehAemP-TehAeImN* maner boleh tak turun training?? hehehe... =P takdelah) Arrggh!! we'll see how lah... what to do? hmm...

Yesterdae went to Marina BAY (bukan Marine Parade lah, Yan), makan at Seoul Garden. oklah, the place.... not much variety compared to Takashimaya. Camwhoring thruout the day. (aku ader BANYAK gambar MAL yang RABAK-RABAK punye.... Wahahahaha!!!!) not only hers, but got other 'interesting' pics... hahahaha (betul tak Mal?) went to the same places, when we went out during Fahd's Bdae .......... Ugh! =/

in the meantime, im juz clearing my M: Drive of all my junk... so enjoy the pics

~Adioz

A man's passion for Floorball... he brings it everywhere. Even to the Mosque.

Azfar Joker

Riezal's Stabil II court shoes (orang beli, dier pun beli...)

Tahu ikat tali kasut tak, Zal?

5 mins later...

Not enough money, so bought 1 shoe 1st...

Bargain KING - Khairul

Eh, senyum lah... Beli kasut pun tak suke ke??

Azfar and Adzmin contemplating to also buy the shoe

Macam budak sekolah lah... dengan topi dan beg dier...

Too Big

Who's that in the background?

Azfar, ape lagi nak tunggu? makan lah... tersengeh-sengeh!

pasal makan pun nak gaduh?

Standard 'Bandung Dinosaur' for everyone

Lepak time...

Azfar and Riezal

5 mins later...

10 mins later...

15 mins later...

our future SPFB President

BULAT seperti Pau - Chicken Barbeque

Mal, get your hands out of Nurul's pants lah...

3 scared boys on a bus

alah... as if you guys dont already know how she studies... absorb from book to brain... SIMPLE! bibir maintain Mal

my two IQ 14.2 classmates

still need a reason, why?

Alahai...

ni rambut style aper Zal? cool ah..

Tak habis-habis dengan dier punye Adidzaf ni.... minah betul! =P

Dzaf prasan... thats not your name lah!! =P

Professor sesat

Nothing to do at 5:02 PM by Awin