It was sometime around Fasting month, last year, that i posted this entry... juz felt like putting it up again. it was damn meaningful... Sorry, Zana. hahaha... here goes:

I had the most 'meaningful' dream last night, SERIOUS!!! It was lyk an eye-opener for me, believe it or not. Here goes - i was somehow dreaming bout the FB raye outing (Raye kan nak dekat... haha) I cant remmember the whole dream but it somehow started at Woodlands MRT. It was in the evening and all of us (SPFB) were on the station platform. I wasnt sure whether we're boarding the train or not. I was talking to Najibah (Katak BERG/BOGEL!!) haha. I was talking to her when suddenly one of the girls was crying. Should i say who it is? hmm... haha k lah, it was Zana (of all people) hehehe... Ya, it was her (aku bukan nak kutuk kau tau... it was in my dream. HONEST! Takkan nak bohong... hahaha) But can u imagine her - CRYING?? wahaha.... Kkays back to my 'dream'. Zana was crying (tersedu-sedu) so i asked her " asal nangis?" then she told me in a sobbing tone that her sister called her to say that her mother just passed away. I almost shed a tear. After a while, i woke up after that.

From then on, this so called 'issue' has been consciously on my mind, but i dunno why. Izzit because of the upcoming bulan Ramadhan?? Hmm... I kept thinking bout it. Imagine if u lose a loved one ( lagi-lagi kalau during bulan Ramadhan or worse, Hari Raya!!) Just think about it and imagine. So far, the only person close to me, that has left, was my 'Atok' (grandfather) and that was already SO painful, now what if it was your own mother?? - the closest person in your life. The one who takes care of you when you were young, the one who puts your needs before hers, the one who would sacrifice anything/everything for you, the one who tries to give the BEST for you. You get what i mean. Now imagine if this person was gone from your life. I dunno about you, but my mother is everything to me and I dont think i'll ever have the strength if she was gone , and i dont know how people like Idhzaar was able to cope emotionally when he lost his (sorry eh Idhzaar) cos i remmember your blog entry bout your late mother. (aku betul-betul salute kau ah...)

Honestly speaking, i feel a bit 'emotional' juz writing bout this, and especially during Ramadhan, some people cry to show their emotional distress while listening to the 'Takbir'. I guess my mum was thinking bout 'her mum' when she listened to the takbir too. She would then reminisce the good times she spent withe 'hers' and eventually, tears would start rolling down her cheek. I have always understood the 'significance' of the Takbir, but never have i experienced it emotionally. I hope it wont have to, but it WILL happen sooner or later... I cannot imagine Ramadhan without her - when shes busy making kueh Raye or preparing for the 'Buka Puasa'. I would then help her in the kitchen cos if i didnt, she would nag and nag and nag, hahaha... Imagine if she was gone - an empty kitchen, an empty seat at the dining table. A seat which used to be occupied. HARI RAYE - Everybody's wearing their baju Kurung, getting ready for the 'mintak maaf ' ritual and you only ask forgiveness from your dad cos the seat beside him is empty. I cant imagine that.... It just wouldnt be the same.

With this eye-opening dream , i want to make sure i do spend enough time with my family - my mother especially, treasuring every single moment i have with her. ALL of us should!! before its too late, and we're stuck cursing ourselves for not spending enough time with them when they were alive. I try to make them happy, and keep myself happy too, hahaha... (takkan nak sedapkan hati diorang, tapi kiter sendiri tak suke...) Nobody said it was easy, but its not impossible....

What an Entry!!! whew... New polls! Adioz~